Mishandled Emotions

I swam in an ocean of fake laughs and half-hearted secrets. I gave you my word, and in my heart that’s where I’ll keep it.

Your actions speak so clearly to me 
the things I’ve always known. 
You prove so well 
what I’ve fought so hard to unlearn.
You’ve reminded me of beautifully masked 
ulterior motives
and how wonderful they look and feel
across my mishandled emotions.
I swam in an ocean of fake laughs
and half-hearted secrets.
I gave you my word,
and in my heart that’s where I’ll keep it.
Maybe I am to blame for knowing
that in the back of my mind your true colors would come out,
but there I was, ever willing to bless you with
benefits of the doubt.
I am forever hopeful in the things I don’t really believe
because maybe someway, somehow
what I have given I will one day receive.
I pity you.
I really do.
Because you are incapable of seeing 
outside of you.

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