I will voluntarily step back and get behind you, not because I view myself as inferior but because I believe in being kind to yourself when it comes to the calling of your heart. I think you should listen to it, but I also agree that those deep seated feelings can be more treacherous than anything else. We both know how the other feels. It shows every time our eyes meet, only we’re reading two different answers. We look away as fast as we can. You, hoping I didn’t see your eyes smile gently in my direction for fear it might arouse within me that tingly feeling that one feels and Me, resenting the determination that preserves your very soul alive. There’s conflict even before we utter the words.
Your focus is where it should be as you store up treasures making a good name for yourself to secure your future. So in the same breath, I say to safeguard what you have as you have it. I, on the other hand, am heavily distracted with the natural laws of deadened members trying to keep them alive while they work and keeping that fire of truth burning as it flickers in every direction bouncing high and low while holding onto the chemistry that struck these flames.
I’m not speaking as a thirsty Samaritan woman looking for a well to draw from but as a weaker vessel understanding my limitations and modestly aware of the conflicts existing between us before taking it a step further. I’m not thirsty as some would consider thirst. There are faucets where I’m from and running water flowing through large shiny pipes. It’s a choice I’ve made to scale back on modern plumbing to seek the tricklings of scarce resources even if it takes a bit longer to get to. I choose to walk miles in the heat of oppression to prepare a space as my head as I carry these buckets of burdens that will replenish my soul when I reach my destination. You should be honored that I’ve traveled the distance through these deserts and haven’t hallucinated my way to unsatisfactory waters.
And so because this is so complicated and neither of us is at fault here, I will get behind you and let your hundred fold pour out upon you. I refuse to mess up the goodness you’ve acquired by jumping in and depriving you by taking 75 percent. I choose to just chill and watch how things work out because I can’t straddle this fence slaving for two masters – my heart and yours. I believe all those other little things will be added to you because you are giving the vibrancy of your youth as first-fruits before your calamitous days arrive and before thorns like me protrude from your flesh. Allow me to get behind you before I get caught up into you. It’s not that I know exactly all the things I talk about, but I do know that I’m not easily impressed but you have impressed me. And I can take that small little impression and embed you so deeply between my breasts until you feel safe and warm and I have a hard time removing the shape of you where you fit so nicely.
Your feet have become so comely. They walk and run this race with vigor and determination to stand firm and grow mighty like an army backed by the myriads. I applaud you! And whereas I don’t want to slow you down to your finish line, all I want to do is take off your shoes and massage your feet and kiss your fruit of lips to say thank you for a job well done. But our stamina isn’t the same.